Sometimes the most painful part of divorce is not dealing with the legal system or having to divide your financial assets in half. For many people the most painful thing about divorce is losing your sense of identity, your stability and your overall security. Your world has changed and for a while you may no longer understand your place in it. With all the change that occurs during divorce it’s very important that you get a handle on your emotions. Here are some tips for improving your emotional health during divorce.
Avoid destructive behaviors
Drinking, drugs, and compulsive spending may ease the pain in the short term. However, there may be terrible long-term consequences to such behavior. Try to ease your pain by exercising more, hanging out with close friends, eating better and engaging in activities that make you feel good about yourself.
Feel the pain and grieve
Even though it may be the best thing to do, the ending of a marriage is often painful. Don’t let your friends or family suggest otherwise. You are going through a loss. And you need time to grieve. It’s ok to feel sad. If you ignore your pain your emotional health will suffer.
Ignoring the situation will not make your situation better. If you have made the decision that your marriage should end, or you accept the fact that your spouse intends to end the marriage, the quicker you are able to accept the fact that the marriage is over and begin taking steps to move forward with your new life, the better.
Know that the healing process takes time
It will take many months and possibly years before you feel whole again. It’s important to realize that the emotional pain won’t go away in a few days or weeks. Continue to look forward, focus on your new life and eventually the pain will begin to lessen and hopefully shift to happiness.
Work out more
Exercising is one of the best things you can do for emotional health. After exercise you will feel better and will be able to deal with the emotional issues related to the ending of your marriage in a more positive way. And regular exercise will help you feel better about yourself.
Write in a diary
Many people find it is very helpful to write down their thoughts and feelings when they’re feeling emotional pain. And don’t worry about grammar or whether the sentences even make sense. Just let your thoughts flow. The process will make you feel better and help you see the big picture
Be good to yourself
You are not a failure. In fact you have a wonderful chance to build a new life and have more positive relationships. Try not to beat yourself up. It only makes the situation worse.
Seek out counseling
Don’t think you have to deal with these feelings on your own. Close friends and mental health professionals can be a huge asset as you go through the pain of the ending of a marriage.
Thank you for checking out our blog. If you are considering divorce and have additional questions, please give John Heilbrun a call at 513-321-3940.