Starting over after divorce

Divorce is both an ending and a new beginning. Ex-spouses taking the time to mourn the end of marriages eventually want to get on with their lives. Multiple options exist in a new normal. Getting an education, changing careers, and spending more time with children and grandchildren can take away the sting of marital dissolution.

Many find themselves wanting to start over with a new partner, a dicey proposition based on statistics. Second marriages actually carry a higher rate of failure, with data revealing that 60 to 65 percent of these types of dissolutions are at 60 percent.

Challenges when starting a second marriage

Pitfalls exist after “walking the aisle” for the second time. The creation of blended families can create conflict. Bringing two families together can create countless challenges. Loyalty is put into question. Rivalries can even arise for step-siblings who can’t get along. Ex-spouses may also create drama with simmering resentment toward the new husband or wife.

When it comes to first marriages, the divorce rates continue changing over several decades, with the gap now widening. The assumption of 50 percent of marriages ending in divorce has dropped as low as 35 to 40 percent, depending on the study.

Additional data reveals that the number of remarried people is three times greater than it was in 1960. The Pew Research Center found that more than 40 million US citizens have been married more than once. Twenty percent who ended their marriages or lost their spouses were willing to try again with a new marital partner.

Simply put, people who remarry usually bring some form of “baggage” to a relationship. Previously unhealthy partnerships in their first marriage can lead to severe trust issues. Without that much-needed foundation, the second union can be doomed from the start.