Divorce: negotiating a new contract to follow
Chances are that you did not spend a lot of time negotiating your marriage contract. Even if you had a prenuptial agreement, people generally do not like to think about the legal aspect of marriage.
The fact remains that your marriage is a legal as well as a social relationship. Divorce does not have to be a battle; it could, instead, be a renegotiation of your relationship into something you can both live with.
If you are considering a collaborative or mediated divorce, then you probably already are a step ahead of some others in terms of minimizing costly, time-consuming conflicts. For example, you would both probably already agree to a no-fault divorce.
This grounds for divorce sets the foundation for constructive negotiations. Rather than laying blame on each other, you are ready to divide assets, establish parental responsibilities and move on with your respective lives.
After you have both agreed to come to the table, it is usually necessary to set some ground rules. Since you are working together to produce an equitable outcome, you would also probably be able to work together to form rules of the procedure that works for everyone.
If you have trouble with the process or if conflicts arise, remember that this is perfectly natural. That is why you have other parties helping with the process and you are not trying to work everything out alone.
At the end of your mediation or collaborative process, you would probably have resolved at least some of the divorce issues. If you managed to handle everything, then the next major step would be for the court to approve your agreement. If not, you might have to pursue a more formal means of dispute resolution.